He asked me if I "almost moaned"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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