Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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