he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
