There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
