Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
