I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
