After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
