I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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