my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
