Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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