dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
