i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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