I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
