i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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