Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We need a shit load of segways right now
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
