My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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