When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
