Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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