Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
