Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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