3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
