Already got asked if we're dating
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
