I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
