Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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