Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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