i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
