The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Alive.
So much puke
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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