I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
