At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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