I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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