I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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