If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
