I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
