I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
