were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
