I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
