she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He kissed a someone with a penis
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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