please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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