Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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