Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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