Pappa wants mamma naked
I smell stomach acid.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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