I want to make a zoo with you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
