How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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