Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hippo gnu deer
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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