ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
