ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
why is half of my head shaved?
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