I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
