i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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