we're blogging at a bar
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
