we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
