Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
