Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
